


and I know I'm the one who died

by kaeyatheworld



Series: the curious nature of men on the run [2]
Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Multi, Pre-Canon, Reflection, Spoilers, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:14:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeyatheworld/pseuds/kaeyatheworld
Summary: a further pseudo-poetic reflection on the events leading up to, and throughout, marble hornets, specifically that relating to the relationships between our beloved four friends.(note; this is tagged trans male character because it's mentioned briefly, although it has no real impact on the work! basically all of the mh characters are trans in my eyes so LOL)
Relationships: Alex Kralie/Jay Merrick, Brian/Timothy "Tim" W.
Series: the curious nature of men on the run [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1399840
Kudos: 20





	and I know I'm the one who died

Before the events of Marble Hornets, they have their routines.  
Jay and Alex share a dorm, of course. Who else but the one who saw them through their scene phase, the one they’d known for years? It's nice. Jay listens to Alex’s hipster tirades about shitty bands nobody but him has ever heard of and even shittier movies, Alex puts up with his near-obsession with satire films and writing poetry akin to that of a teenager who listened to MCR for the first time.

Brian and Tim are near inseparable. They, too, share a dorm. Who else? Brian was Tim’s first real friend, first…..He was his first for a lot of things, to say the least. It’s not exactly easy to make friends while being holed up in a hospital for the majority of your childhood. Brian keeps Tim stable, brings life to everything they do. Tim makes sure Brian doesn’t bind too long or get too fucked up on nights they have class early the next day. They keep each other going. 

When Alex mentions his plans for a short film, Brian doesn’t take it too seriously. He knows Alex has always dreamed big without much follow through. Imagine his surprise when he hears that his friend’s been hard at work on a script. 

Jay can’t refuse when Alex asks him to help edit the script. He never mentions just how bad he thinks it really is. When Alex gets an idea in his head, something he’s really passionate about, its infectious. When he’s dedicated to a project, it makes you feel like there’s nothing the two of you can’t handle together. It’s an energy Jay doesn’t get to see often, so he humors him. He refuses to admit to himself the reasons why he humors it. The script sucks, to be blunt. It’s a fact obvious to everyone but Alex. If things were different, Jay would say something. He should. But he doesn’t. People do silly things when they’re in l-

When they love their friends. That’s all.

Tim doesn’t expect to find himself auditioning for a role in his friend’s friend’s shitty film. He isn’t exactly the drama major here, that’s all Brian. He isn’t one to take the spotlight. But when Brian’s smiling at him in that way that he can’t deny makes him feel fuzzy and stupid like nothing else, it’s hard to refuse. 

Love changes people. It makes them do things they regret. 

When Alex finds himself standing over Jay, who saved him, who showed him what actual love felt like, who he _killed_ -  
all he can do is wonder where it all went wrong. 

When Tim, with his bricked-off heart still healing from everything, finally finds out what happened to Brian ( _his heart his light and joy and life-_ ) he feels the bricks shatter and old wounds open once more. 

After everything they went through together. The fights, the highs and lows, the foggy memories and the running. This is how it ends. Tim, strong broken-hearted Tim, and Alex, who fought so hard only to find he had been throwing punches at a mirror. Covered in blood and wondering what they could have done differently.

**Author's Note:**

> this is an older work that was originally posted on my old tumblr, but I deleted that blog so! don't want to lose it again. :-] title is from I earn my life by lemon demon which. has alex vibes IMO ok thanks for reading love u 😌✌️💕


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